I think my cousin looks better than me with the flower, but I'm up for disagreement.
Monday 26 February 2007
16th of February
My last day in India. I'm spending it with a cousin who I haven't seen in many years, and his wife. I had such fun with them, rather than making you read many words in which I try and describe what happened I'll let the pictures speak for me.
I think my cousin looks better than me with the flower, but I'm up for disagreement.
I think my cousin looks better than me with the flower, but I'm up for disagreement.
15th of February
I left my cousins house heading back to Bombay, from Pune (pronounced Puna) to visit another cousin. I was taken to a taxi station where you can arrange to share a taxi for the trip back to save money. After dismantling my pack so that it fitted under a seat I got in the back of a 4 wheel drive, the kind of seat where kids seat when the car is full.
I was sharing the back with another guy and it wasn’t that bad. Then two more people joined us in the back and it started getting very crowded. All in all there were 16 full grown Indian males in the car. However, I think the guy with the worst seat wasn’t us poor bastards in the boot, but the guy who had the driver sitting in his lap. And no I’m not joking. There were 4 people on the front seat (bench seat) and one guy had the driver sitting on his lap. It made me wonder who was pushing the pedals.
I was sharing the back with another guy and it wasn’t that bad. Then two more people joined us in the back and it started getting very crowded. All in all there were 16 full grown Indian males in the car. However, I think the guy with the worst seat wasn’t us poor bastards in the boot, but the guy who had the driver sitting in his lap. And no I’m not joking. There were 4 people on the front seat (bench seat) and one guy had the driver sitting on his lap. It made me wonder who was pushing the pedals.
13th of February
I’m staying in with the son of the family I stayed with in Bangalore. He’s a major in the Indian Army. I could tell you what division but then he’d have to kill me.
The house he and his family live in was built at the end of the 19th century, a beautiful old stone building with two bathrooms and one bedroom. The ceilings are high, bloody high. If I were to stand on my own shoulders and then do so again I wouldn’t be able to touch them and currently there is a false ceiling in place so I don’t know how high they truly are.
I went for a walk through the army grounds and saw and . Really amazing stuff.
The house he and his family live in was built at the end of the 19th century, a beautiful old stone building with two bathrooms and one bedroom. The ceilings are high, bloody high. If I were to stand on my own shoulders and then do so again I wouldn’t be able to touch them and currently there is a false ceiling in place so I don’t know how high they truly are.
I went for a walk through the army grounds and saw
10th of February
I attended a medical conference today as my dad had paid for registration and couldn’t make today. When I arrived there was no real organisation and just getting my conference satchel was a task in itself.
Halfway through the day I noticed that there were torches flashing out the back of the stage and sniffer dogs being lead around. After I left the conference there were metal detectors at the front gate, everyone was getting frisked, bags checked and a special booth had been setup to screen women.
So far however there has been no boom.
Halfway through the day I noticed that there were torches flashing out the back of the stage and sniffer dogs being lead around. After I left the conference there were metal detectors at the front gate, everyone was getting frisked, bags checked and a special booth had been setup to screen women.
So far however there has been no boom.
8th of February
While getting a bus across the tarmac at Bangalore airport the driver stopped in front of our plane on an essentially empty tarmac and started honking his horn before driving an additional 20 metres and letting us off. I’m not sure if he really expected the plane to move out of the way but you have to admire his delusion.
India Transport
There are various methods of transport in India ranging from suicidal to suicidal.
1. Walking
2. Motorbike
3. Rickshaw (auto or bike)
4. Car
5. Taxi (distinct from private cars as the drivers seem to have death wishes)
6. Government bus
7. Private Bus (deluxe or semi-deluxe)
8. Volvo (coach)
9. Train
Walking is perhaps the most hazardous transport medium if you’re near a road and the one least undertaken by middle class Indians. There are no such things as pedestrian crossings, sure they are painted on the road but if you are to use one you’d be painted on the road, then painted around by the traffic police. I recently had to cross a busy road and after waiting several minutes for a break in the traffic I almost went back to ask the soothsayer when the next break in traffic would be.
Auto Rickshaws are fantastic concept, most of the time when you want to use a taxi you only need two seats or maybe three so why waste money dragging around additional seats and a boot when it’s not necessary. So the rickshaw is the answer, a three wheeled yellow and black bird cage powered by a lawnmower engine. They can be very scary depending on the driver you have managed to flag down and negotiate either the activation of the meter or a charge you’re both happy with. Rickshaw drivers basically hurl their vehicle through every gap in the traffic they can find. I’m sure several times I’ve been in one that’s somehow managed to occupy another vehicles space time somehow without having an accident.
The rickshaw drivers for reasons only known to themselves mount their side mirrors on the inside of the cab, orientated so that the only thing they can see is the back seat. The mirrors also frequently have written on them “Objects in the mirror appear closer than they are” which strikes me as terribly useless because by the time an object you would like to see in your mirrors is visible it has crushed through the back wall of your vehicle.
A bus provides exactly n – 5 inches of leg room, where n is the distance between hip and knee. A semi deluxe or deluxe bus are really the same thing but when you book the tickets you’re told that the bus is deluxe and yet when it arrives it’s clearly semi. On top of that the deluxe is really a misnomer as the bus is really not deluxe but tolerable. I suggest redefining the classes are tolerable and barely tolerable.
A Volvo bus is wonderful and is equivalent to our coach class. Though it usually involves deafening Bollywood movie, but headphones or ear plugs reduce that to a racket.
In all the transport options only the train is safe and then only if you aren’t taking the class that involves hanging out of the train. In many cases without a molecule of your body inside the actual train as your are literally hanging off someone else.
Space is an important concept, Dr Karl said that of all forms of transport a 747 has the smallest amount of space per person. He obviously hasn’t seen the Indian transport packing solution. Frequently I have seen cars, bikes or rickshaws loaded to the roof with people. A small 5 seater car can easily contain 11 people if packed properly, two people per front seat (including the driver seat) and 5 people squished on the back seat and two additional kids peeking out the boot. In the same manner 8 people + a driver can be fitted in to an auto, a device designed to take 2 in a semblance of comfort.
1. Walking
2. Motorbike
3. Rickshaw (auto or bike)
4. Car
5. Taxi (distinct from private cars as the drivers seem to have death wishes)
6. Government bus
7. Private Bus (deluxe or semi-deluxe)
8. Volvo (coach)
9. Train
Walking is perhaps the most hazardous transport medium if you’re near a road and the one least undertaken by middle class Indians. There are no such things as pedestrian crossings, sure they are painted on the road but if you are to use one you’d be painted on the road, then painted around by the traffic police. I recently had to cross a busy road and after waiting several minutes for a break in the traffic I almost went back to ask the soothsayer when the next break in traffic would be.
Auto Rickshaws are fantastic concept, most of the time when you want to use a taxi you only need two seats or maybe three so why waste money dragging around additional seats and a boot when it’s not necessary. So the rickshaw is the answer, a three wheeled yellow and black bird cage powered by a lawnmower engine. They can be very scary depending on the driver you have managed to flag down and negotiate either the activation of the meter or a charge you’re both happy with. Rickshaw drivers basically hurl their vehicle through every gap in the traffic they can find. I’m sure several times I’ve been in one that’s somehow managed to occupy another vehicles space time somehow without having an accident.
The rickshaw drivers for reasons only known to themselves mount their side mirrors on the inside of the cab, orientated so that the only thing they can see is the back seat. The mirrors also frequently have written on them “Objects in the mirror appear closer than they are” which strikes me as terribly useless because by the time an object you would like to see in your mirrors is visible it has crushed through the back wall of your vehicle.
A bus provides exactly n – 5 inches of leg room, where n is the distance between hip and knee. A semi deluxe or deluxe bus are really the same thing but when you book the tickets you’re told that the bus is deluxe and yet when it arrives it’s clearly semi. On top of that the deluxe is really a misnomer as the bus is really not deluxe but tolerable. I suggest redefining the classes are tolerable and barely tolerable.
A Volvo bus is wonderful and is equivalent to our coach class. Though it usually involves deafening Bollywood movie, but headphones or ear plugs reduce that to a racket.
In all the transport options only the train is safe and then only if you aren’t taking the class that involves hanging out of the train. In many cases without a molecule of your body inside the actual train as your are literally hanging off someone else.
Space is an important concept, Dr Karl said that of all forms of transport a 747 has the smallest amount of space per person. He obviously hasn’t seen the Indian transport packing solution. Frequently I have seen cars, bikes or rickshaws loaded to the roof with people. A small 5 seater car can easily contain 11 people if packed properly, two people per front seat (including the driver seat) and 5 people squished on the back seat and two additional kids peeking out the boot. In the same manner 8 people + a driver can be fitted in to an auto, a device designed to take 2 in a semblance of comfort.
Monday 19 February 2007
3rd of February
We were planning on leaving this 500000 horse town and heading back to Bangalore but since Kiruna decided to leak amniotic fluid everywhere the previous night we decided to stay until she popped a baby out.
So we waited and waited, I had warned her that the first baby is usually early and that the first labour is usually prolonged but I didn’t realise how prophetic my statement was. After something like 24 hours in labour she finally gave birth to a baby (or as I might have suggested a little monkey).
So we waited and waited, I had warned her that the first baby is usually early and that the first labour is usually prolonged but I didn’t realise how prophetic my statement was. After something like 24 hours in labour she finally gave birth to a baby (or as I might have suggested a little monkey).
As all good celebrations in India call for we went out and bought a packet of sweets. We bought Mysore Pak which was geographically appropriate. As near as I can tell it was 75 % ghee and 25 % sugar which is then fried (probably in Ghee). It was delicious, but after having a finger width slice I’m sure I have heart disease. Simply rising from a chair is now enough exercise to cause angina. But it was worth it.
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